Wayfaring Stranger

The Times They Are A-Changing!

Life has a way of quickly reminding you of how short it all is and what is really important after all. One minute you're doing your normal life stuff and the next, you're rushing to the bedside of your mom. Three weeks ago, we were called back to Michigan to be with my mother-in-law who was diagnosed with cancer. Four days later she was gone. While that sounds awfully fast, it was merciful and a blessing for a beautiful lady who has done more than her share of suffering for the last 17 years of her life. So this posting is in memory of the lovely lady who gave me my wonderful husband.

Grace Qualls was never happier than when she was in the kitchen cooking something for her four children, their spouses and children and her great grandchildren. She was the best cook on Champaign street and we all have our fond memories of the mustacholi (sorry, not sure how to spell that one!), stuffed cabbages or rice pudding. She made the best potato salad I have ever eaten. Needless to say we were never hungry or lacking for food. What we didn't eat, she packed up and sent home with us. She never cooked just enough, it was always way too much because she never wanted anyone to have to go without eating. She would cook up a huge pot full of chicken and rice soup and we would eat it then and for several days afterward. It was wonderful. If there was nothing else about her, we would miss her for her wonderful meals and the joy in her kitchen.

Grace was as generous with her wallet as she was with her food. She could see the pain in someone's eyes and was always ready to listen to the trials and tribulations of the people around her. If that person had any need of something, Grace was quick to help them get what they needed. She had a tender heart for people.

For the last six years or so, Grace has been pretty much limited to her home by her illnesses. Even before that her trips were short and local. Even so, she wasn't a lonely person. People sought her out and her home was always bustling with people and noise. The neighbors spent time with her and she was always there to listen to them and care for them in her special way. She was the hotline for the family. When someone couldn't reach one of the kids for one reason or another, we could always reach Grace and she knew where everyone was and when they would be back. She became the switchboard for everyone because we all knew she would be home. As a result she knew everything about everything. Now we don't know who we're going to call for our information.

While her death was a blessing to her, it leaves a us with a huge empty hole in our hearts and our lives. We did ask her questions and video tape her with her two sisters not long ago. It's a good thing we did. Now two of them have died within a month or so of each other but we do have the video and a lot of wonderful memories. Her two daughters will suffer a great deal because they were the most responsible for caring for their mother through her many illnesses. They were always there for Grace and called many times during the day. Picking up the phone will now leave a huge ache in their hearts. They will need prayers for comfort for quite a while. The two boys will also miss her and need prayer in the coming months as they think about calling and then realize once again their loss.

My heart aches as I think of the two tiny great granddaughters that will not get to know Grandma except through our stories and memories. The joy is that she lived a long loving life filled with grandchildren who do know her well and love her deeply.

Slowly the generation before me is leaving this earth. Only my mother remains of the parents on both sides. With each death my place in this life moves and changes. It won't be long before I am the elder generation and while at times that is a wonderful thought, the closer it gets the scarier it is. Dealing with my own mortality is becoming more than just a fleeting thought. I am so very grateful that I have a life that will go on for eternity and that I will one day just "move" into a different land and get to spend time with my dear mother-in-law and my sweet daddy talking about all the things they didn't get to experience before they left this earth.

Grace, I loved you and I will miss you so much! I'm thinking about going home and making some of your yummy potato salad!

posted by Dana @ 12:03 PM