Wayfaring Stranger

Sunshine or Fog?

I will be so glad when the sun is shining (where I can see it) again. For some reason this winter has just been such a dreary one even though it’s been wonderfully pleasant in so many other aspects. For example, it hasn’t really snowed much since December and the temperature has been in the high forties, low fifties more days than not. Even though I am a Texas-born girl, I was raised primarily in the north so icy cold and snowy winters have been the rule of thumb for most of my life. I wonder if this change has something to do with the dreariness. At least with snow it seems brighter even when the sun doesn't shine.

I think it’s the same with my spiritual life. I go through warm close periods of time with God and feel overwhelming love for him. During those times all I want to do is spend time worshipping and praising him. Then the dreariness hits from out of nowhere and I slog along in a thick fog wondering where I am and where He is and even more so How did I get to this place! I wonder if maybe it’s not easier in a sense to have those wonderful close times and then have those hard, painful “winters” where everything seems frozen and barren. I know where I am at those times. I know I am in a learning period and even though it hurts and I struggle to get through, I know God is there. I can feel him there. I know he will bring me to a new level of understanding in some area of my life. Perhaps I am a black and white person to some extent. Give me the warm summer days or the icy cold winters. Give me the deep filling relationship or the frozen barren struggles. But please hold the dreariness and drabness that comes with gray days and with that lost feeling of wandering in a fog and wondering.

posted by Dana @ 11:34 AM